Have you ever had a date where at the end, you walk away feeling like you’re hungover, saying, “What the heck happened?” Yeah … that’s sort of what happened on my date Monday night with the Banker …
Before I get into this date, I did want to say that I did indeed go speed dating and I will post about that this week!
So. The Banker.
Basically, the Banker had asked me to meet him at a restaurant in a well-known area at 6:30. I could do that, I told him, but I would be coming straight from work so I might be a bit late. He was okay with this and when walking into the restaurant, I texted him to let him know. He told me he was over at that bar with a Guinness. “You can’t miss me,” he texted. Well, I spotted him and thankfully, he was indeed as his pictures had revealed. At least 6’3”, maybe 6’4,” he was pretty cute. He had sandy brown hair, broad shoulders, good body, not too big and definitely not too little. He had this boyish look to him. The best way I can think to describe it is, think of Shaggy from Scooby Doo, at age 24 with no facial hair and cute and modern. So was the Banker.
Immediately I felt comfortable with him and he launched straightaway into a story. I was slightly charmed. However, the first awkward moment of the night was when the bartender came to get my order. I just asked for a glass of water with lemon because I’m on pain medicine for a back injury. He was shocked at this and said, “Surely you’ll get something?”
Apparently, and this was a BIG mix-up on my part, I had misunderstood. When he had asked me to meet him at the restaurant, he had apparently meant just to drink. So …. I explained I really couldn’t have that much alcohol but to salvage the situation, I ordered a glass of wine to sip.
The other bad news was I had skipped lunch to save calories for dinner and I was not mixing drugs and alcohol on an empty stomach … and I had a 30 minute drive home. So I tried to be cautious, but still enjoy the date. I barely sipped.
I enjoyed the Banker’s stories, but it started to feel like he wasn’t working to seek out our chemistry as much as he wanted to talk. And I like talkers. But after a while it started to feel like he was talking AT me instead of WITH me. He did ask me a few questions about myself … but I did start to feel like for the most part I was on the receiving end. The chemistry component wasn’t necessarily lacking … just … neglected. I didn’t really get the feeling that he was as much concerned about flirting with me as he just wanted to talk to somebody.
His family sounded amazing and with three sisters, the youngest two are blonde twins who could basically be Jessica and Elizabeth from Sweet Valley Twins, and his parents sound sweet. He grew up in a town like mine, with friends like mine, is Catholic like me, he had a similar way of storytelling and just seemed nice. So I stared at him and really tried to figure out, could I marry this person, could I date this person, would it be good to make out with this person? Because trust me, I had A LOT of time to think about this. And I kind of came to the conclusion that he was what I had been asking for. He was certainly ticking a lot of the boxes …
Then a man came over and asked us if we would like to participate in the trivia night about to start up. The Banker immediately said no and asked if I would like to go somewhere else to get away from the soon to be noisy restaurant. I agreed, wondering without much hope if we would be getting dinner.
We went to another restaurant and when the bartender asked if we needed dinner menus, the Banker assured her we wouldn’t be having dinner. Great. I order another glass of wine having not even sipped a third of my first one at the other restaurant.
It’s not really the fact that we didn’t get dinner (although I was starting to feel a bit sick from the alcohol medicine mix and empty stomach) but he didn’t ask, didn’t check with me. It was like with the guy asking about trivia. He just went ahead and made all those decisions without consulting me. Which made me feel … off put slightly. He did know I was coming straight from work and while he couldn’t know I skipped lunch, he did have to realize it was 9:00 p.m. …
That being said, I could easily have piped up and said I was hungry and paid for it myself … but sadly I just didn’t feel like wondering the night if he would judge me and make me feel fat. So as much as some people might disagree, I just tried to move with it and get through it.
At this new restaurant, more of the same talking difficulties … with me getting a few words in here and there. He did at some points seem to remember he was on a date, but it was such a weird experience. It was almost like I could have been his grandmother. …
Along the way he made two references that made me stop for a minute like, wait, what??
1.) When mentioning his apartment, he said, “It’s hard to describe, but you’ll be seeing it soon anyway.”
Really?? I found this strange. Yeah he never asked me back to his apartment … but still …
2.) When talking about his friends he said, “Well, but when you talk to them you’ll understand.”
Right. Again with the assumptions … it sounded like in a casual way he was already incorporating me into his life and this was odd considering the lack of flirtation or perceived interest I was getting from him.
We ended the date with a hug and he mentioned he had a fantastic time and wanted to set something up again. I wasn’t sure I would hear from him again, but 12 minutes later, I got a text from him saying, “Hey Andie, had a wonderful time tonight! Let me know how your week and weekend go, I’d love to see you again! Drive safe!”
Yes, he really takes time to text punctuation lol … He also mentioned the illustrious “love” word.
Still feeling sickly I drove myself to the nearest TGI Fridays where my favorite bartenders work. Seated at the bar I ordered dinner by myself and tried to sort out what I was feeling, what I should do.
“What’s wrong sunshine? You don’t look happy…” Alec, one of my favorite bartenders stopped over.
I told him that I had just come from a date and briefly explained as best I could how it went and said I was trying to figure out whether or not to go out with him again.
“Well did you have fun?” Alec asked. “I don’t really know. That’s what I’m trying to figure out,” I told him, to which he responded, “If you don’t know then you didn’t have fun.”
I told Alec he was wise beyond his years … but in the end I set up another date with the Banker for next Monday. He specifically mentioned dinner lol so we’ll see.
We texted briefly the morning after but nothing since. So I’m really confused … he seems to adhere to Katy Perry’s boyfriend’s policy and run hot and cold.
He acted during the date like he considered me part of his life (which was mildly concerning) but then doesn’t talk to me for almost two days? So I’ve started to chat with new prospects and will keep tabs on the Banker situation.
One last bit, I called my co-worker right before my date to tell her it indeed did only take me seven minutes to drive there (and she’s not too keen on my meeting people from the internet) and I received this series of text messages from her throughout the duration of my date [I saw them afterward].
6:57 ARE YOU OKAY?
6:57 DO YOU NEED A BACKUP NINJA
6:57 I won’t lie, I’ve had far too much Chinese food to be ninja-like
6:58 But I will drive to your rescue
6:58 And make ninja sounds
6:58 WHY DID YOU CALL ME
6:58 ARE YOU OKAY
7:07 I bet you called to tell me it took you seven minutes to get to the restaurant
7:07 Which would be LIES
7:07 Are you sure you’re not secretly meeting [hot preppy co-worker]?
7:08 God what if you’re in this guys trunk right now
7:08 And I’m being a lazy jerk talking about ninjas and [hot preppy co-worker]?
7:08 I SHOULD BE SAVING YOU
So, stay tuned for when the saga continues …. The Banker, Part II … will it be a startling conclusion? Or a disappointing cliffhanger? I’m really not sure at this point so we’ll all have to wait and see.
Until next time!