So, when last we left off, Coach Taylor had disappeared, Tall Paul was on the missing hikers bulletin, and I was sort of considering picking things up with the Bartender. It’s only fitting to start with the most shocking of all.
TALL PAUL IS ALIVE!
That’s correct folks, Tall Paul is indeed alive and survived his mountain camping excursion. I received a messaged from him on Thursday morning (the first activity on his account since Friday), saying “Well that ended up taking longer than expected.”
Tall Paul, it appears, really was still away in the mountains, and though not eaten by a bear, it appears his extreme date with nature ran over (whether by getting lost or his own decision we may never truly know).
Even more surprising is the fact that he messaged me back. So we will see how things develop with Tall Paul. I just find it amazing the dead-eyed survivor made it back safe and sound … and wasn’t just blowing me off.
It’s the little things … 🙂
Now, on to the next order of business … my unfortunate dealings with Coach Taylor. Just like that wild dog that doesn’t seem to want to stay but keeps showing up for treats from time to time, Coach Taylor has once again returned.
It all started on Thursday when my roommate posted a picture of us getting ready to go out drinking. Within three seconds, she calls out from the bathroom to ask me what Coach Taylor’s name was again …. Because he had liked the photo within three seconds. Therefore, I wasn’t entirely surprised that moments later I receive a text from him for the first time in a week.
Of course NOT being a glutton for punishment, I didn’t text him back. I know instinctively that there’s just something about this wild canine that would not make a good companion.
Seven shots later we were texting. And he was asking me if he had mentioned how pretty I was, to which I responded (I’m afraid with alcoholic cattiness) ‘you did cover that.’ He also mentioned that I was delicious. Not really sure how he would know that considering we have most certainly never made out …
But in the end, all of this led to last night’s conversation which I am transcribing for you. I’m not sure there’s any other way to convey this….
Him: So can i tell you something without you being offended … I feel like I need to tell you … You were in my dream the other night …
Me: Haha … um … okay?
Him: I had a sex dream … I’m sorry if this offends you
Me: Haha had to get that off your chest and confess? These things happen ..
Him: Yes … lol ok i thought you were gonna get mad …
Me: I have amazing zen
Him: Yeah I agree, can see that for sure!
Me: That being said of course, I might have shown concern if you had said ‘Hey I had a dream about that movie Saw … and you were in it … and I was jigsaw’
Him: Lol I’ve never seen those movies and I don’t want to
Me: I’m saying that would have been more concerning …
Him: Lol yeah … But I saw 50 shades of grey and then dreamed about you instead
Me: I have seen that one …
Him: Well it wasn’t anything crazy like that
I think he was partially wondering if I would think he was a creep or if I would be turned on and because of my neutral response he has seemed confused ever since. I do feel slightly creeped out, and slightly flattered. This is the first time someone has felt the need to confess for having lustful thoughts about me …
So I don’t know what to think about Coach Taylor. Except, just like that wild dog … I don’t think that I could ever really trust him to stay….